After chatting to a few men online, it seemed that most were far more interested in my citizenship than who I was, which is an immediate fail.
However I did meet one man through Shaadi.com, Prem and I dated for a few months.
My simplistic explanation on why this behaviour is tolerated comes down to the arranged marriage.
The men I have observed undertaking this behaviour tend to be of lesser socio-economic means, and in my rudimentary understanding of the intricacies of Indian culture, I believe they are more likely to have an arranged marriage.
This denigrates the Indian man into something only marginally short of a sloth and depresses me even further. Then this one in Tehelka that essentially blames parenting styles, and mothers in particular, for molly-coddling their sons.
I have to say, I have seen many examples of this and it really does exist however it is not limited to Indian men, with many western men also relying on their mothers to look after them into adulthood.
I am not sure about this as in western societies, where there is no such delineation, women are also viewed as sexual objects and sexual violence still occurs.
So which one is true, or are they the two faces of the same person.
It continued on for pages and pages, lists of sites denigrating the Indian male and trying to explain reasons for his various “behaviours”. Up popped a range of sites of beautiful women, dating sites, some women’s rights organisations and beauty websites.
Whilst she was lovely and friendly, her presence changed our plans and the dynamic of our meeting.
I have never encountered this before when meeting Western men or women for that matter. It all seemed strange, and quite honestly a little disappointing.
In my opinion, if they had to go out and attract a woman entirely on their own (and assuming she had unfettered free will and choice in the matter), they would be less likely to indulge in these behaviours. In years past I have come to India for work, and in my current stay in Delhi I am living with family and am privy to another side of India.